Once again I’ve been jipped by Pizza Hut’s slick advertising. The first time was when I purchased their pastas. They looked edible in the ads, especially when printed on that glossy ad paper, so decided to try some. I bought a chicken alfredo and lasagna.

The chicken alfredo was flavorless, not to mention lukewarm. It was the most awful chicken alfredo I had ever tasted. It had the consistency and flavor of pasta doused with Elmer’s glue. The chicken was few and far between and exceptionally stringy like bunches of floss. The lasagna was equally flavorless, with a crusty top that suggested it might have been sitting on the counter for far too long. Both the sauce and ricotta cheese had the texture of spackle.

Today at a different Pizza Hut I purchased a supreme because I had not learned my lesson. Upon opening the box at home I realized they had somehow managed to completely forget all the meat toppings, which was partially my fault for not checking. This was all terrible enough, especially with the memory of the nasty pastas lingering on my mind, but after a few bites I realized that I was the lucky recipient of an exceptionally long hair. At this point I lost all appetite and started plotting this here blog post to vent my displeasure.

The moral of the story is to pay the premium and order Papa John’s for peace of mind and a quality pizza.